Category: Joke Board
The following are experiences of a South African couple who moved to Canada ... they thought they would be better off there.
Be aware: If you are easily offended by strong language, don't read on.
Diary of a South African who moved to Canada to escape the crime!
November 14
It started snowing. The first of the season and the first real snow we have
ever seen. The wife took out buttered buns and sat by the window watching
the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. IT
WAS BEAUTIFUL.
November 15
We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the
landscape. What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub was covered with a
beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time and loved it. I
did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later, the city snowplough came along
and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the
street.But the driver smiled and waved and I waved back and shoveled again.
November 16
It snowed an additional twelve centimeters last night and the temperature
has dropped to around four degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs
have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again.
Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again.Much of
the snow is now brownish grey.
November 17
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice
again. Bought snow tyres for both cars. Slipped on my arse in the
driveway,paid $130 for the chiropractor, but fortunately nothing broken.
More snow and ice expected.
November 18
Still cold. Sold my wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work.
Slid on the guard-rail and did considerable damage to the right quarter
panel.
Had another 15 centimeters of white shit last night. Both vehicles
covered in salt and crud. More shovelling in store for me today.
That damn
snowplough came by twice yesterday.
November 19
2 degrees outside! More fucking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property
that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep
from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped
over and nearly burned the fucking house down. I managed to put the flames
out but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows
and eyelashes. Car slid on the white shit on the way to the hospital and was
totalled.
November 20
Mother fucking white kak keeps coming down! I have to put on all the
clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch that son of a
bitch that drives that fucking snowplough, I'll chew open his chest and rip
his heart out. I think he hides around the fucking corner and waits for me
to finish shovelling, then comes down the street at about 160km/hr and
buries our driveway again. Fucking power still off. The shithouse frozeand
parts of the roof have started to cave in
November 21
Twelve more centimetres of fucking snow and fucking ice and fuck knows what
other kind of fucking white shit fell last night.I wounded the fucking
snowplough poes with a pick, but the bastard got away. The wife has fucked
off and left me. The fucking car won't start and I think I'm fucking
snow-blind. I can't move my fucking toes, haven't seen the fucking sun in
weeks and there's more fucking snow predicted. Wind chill is 30 fucking
degrees below zero!!
November 22
FUCK THIS! I am moving back to South Africa!
rofl
heeheehee hahahahahahahhaha that was coolness in a fish bowl
and thus is why i will go south my friends lol.